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Archive for June, 2010

Damn Mosquitos!!

I went golfing on Monday night and I have since grown a disease!! It is seriously ridiculous. I wish I could figure out how to add pictures to this, would make this story much more interesting.

I literally have like 12 or more bites on the back of each leg and they are HUGE!! No tiny little things here, those little buggers obviously found me tasty.

I wanted to wear a dress to work today (I have been wearing them a lot lately) but I was scared that no one would want to stand by me in fear of catching whatever disease it is I have.

So ya that’s my latest hardship lol. I guess if this is the worst thing going on in my life, I am doing pretty darn good but its hard to see that when you are up all night scratching your legs and wanting to scream out in annoyance!!

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Lonely?

So having my own place means being alone…am I the only one realizing this?? At times not gonna lie this hasn’t been the best. I feel a little ridiculous talking to myself all night so sometimes it gets a little…shall I admit it…lonely. Yes okay, lonely, but it’s a good thing. I am going to make the most out of it and change lonely to just being alone. It doesn’t need to be negative.

I’ve been talking to my counsellor (everyone should have one in my opinion and I love mine) about this topic a lot in past months for obvious reasons and she keeps telling me I need to become better company to myself, so that being alone is a positive not a negative thing. Her suggestion is to start becoming aware and notice myself and my body and its feelings and its wants and needs and just everything that is going on internally at any given moment. Like if I’m in a situation at work that pisses me off, how is my body reacting to it, does my heart speed up, can I feel my temperature rise? If someone makes me laugh do I feel lighter, almost with an air like quality? Trust me its hard, but I think we all need to try to look internally because no one else can but us.

The other thing I have been trying to do is be in each moment and cherish all the little things. I got this from the book Woman Food and God. The author gives the example of washing the dishes. We all wash dishes so we can be done washing dishes and go onto better things, but why not enjoy the moment. Why not enjoy feeling the bubbles pop on our fingers or enjoy the warmth of the water on our skin? It reminds me of being a child. It’s all the little things that we loved as kids that we now take for granted. I mean, I remember asking to do the dishes when I was a kid…why? Because it’s an experience that can be enjoyable if we cherish it and take it in and allow it to be enjoyable.

So these are my 2 goals. Become better company through noticing myself and getting to know me as well as cherishing the little things. I think both are easier said then done, but we will see.

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New home

For the first time ever I am on my own in my own place! It’s totally exciting but also kinda scary at the same time. I had to go out and buy a lamp for my bedside table because I don’t like getting into bed with no lights on…you never know who or what could be under the bed and could grab your legs. I know it’s silly but I really am afraid of the dark and if an adult night-light (as Steph calls it) helps then so be it!

All my stuff has fit perfectly into the apartment which has been great! It looks really good, all I need is my dining room table and I really want to get like an 8 foot mirror for my living room but that will wait until next month. I should post pictures of the place but I have no idea how to do that :) I guess I will just have to have everyone over for a housewarming party.

The one thing I am so freaking excited about is that I have all my kitchen stuff back!! I haven’t cooked a meal since the last time I was out in BC, I think  February and before that was before Christmas. I can tell a difference in myself so I really need to get back to it.  We did a cooking class with work last week and it got me so excited when I was chopping my peppers.  What should I make for my first meal in my new place? Hmm…maybe something new? We will see.

Anyways, back to work! I will update more regularly, and maybe learn how to put pictures up.

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