Archive for April, 2011


I’m turning 25 on Friday, I know you think I am crazy but I’m feeling old and it is terrifying me. I realize that 25 is just a portion of the long life I am going to live but aging really scares me. Am I the only one?

Like what am I going to look like in another 25 years? It’s such an unknown. Am I going to be wrinkly, saggy and old-looking? My mom and dad look good for their age, will I look like that or will I look like a crazy old woman? Will my joints hurt? People always complain about their backs hurting and I have never felt that way, as I age am I going to become crippled?

And what is my life going to be like in 25 years? Will I be single? Married? Kids? In Calgary? Working? Dead? Who knows!! I could freaking be dead in 25 years! Mind you I know I could be dead tomorrow but it seems so much more possible in 25 years…I can’t even begin to think about 50 years.

I think it is just the unknown. Aging gives me anxiety, or the unknown gives me anxiety I guess. I like being in control and I can’t control what is going to happen tomorrow. But I guess if I want to be positive I can just think how exciting that is. Tomorrow my life could turn in a whole different direction. I could be spun like a top and not know where I am going to land and although that isn’t exactly in my comfort zone things have been working out pretty well with me so I should just enjoy it.

Though in all honesty, I found 2 huge wrinkles on my forehead in the last couple weeks so if someone knows of a cream that actually works I would appreciate if you passed on that info.



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A Whole New Me

As of Monday I have lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds of fat, negativity, baggage, unhappiness and bitter feelings.

Working out and seeing the difference in my body and strength has been wonderful, but that is only part of the reason I have kept going. Losing weight I have not only gotten rid of excess disgustingness on my body, but I have begun the process of getting rid of the crap that has been surrounding my heart for so long.

For the first time in longer than I can remember I have a smile on my face on a regular basis, and when it isn’t on my face I can feel it in my body. I like getting ready in the morning, I like looking at myself in the mirror, I am proud to go out with my friends, I want to go out and live my life! I can’t wait for summer to be out living and laughing and making memories in the sun (if it ever stays out)! I just feel so positive towards the future and it’s because I chose to start on the journey to making me a better person.

We all need to stand up and start living the life we want. Start choosing ourselves and what makes us happy. We only get one life, one body, one mind, what are we doing with it? I was sitting on the couch eating chips, watching TV and trying to convince myself I was okay when I wasn’t. I am now choosing to make ME happy, I deserve it and so do you!

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